A Collection of CrackPairing Oneshots
by Become One With Russia
Summary: Just like the title says. Some crack pairings I'm fond of.
1. Chapter 1

Notes Before The Story

Hello! This is DOOM Fangirl! Here are a whole bunch of Yu-Gi-Oh! Pairings one-shots.

Some are heterosexual, most are yaoi, and one is yuri.

**WARNINGS: These stories contain: swearing, yaoi, yuri, sexual content (but no lemon!) abuse, murder, and pedophilia.**

Here are the shippings I'll be using, in the order I'll be using them in (one chapter for each):

Visionshipping (Ishizu/Mai)

Sacrificeshipping (Valon/Alister)

Warshipping (Seto/Alister)

Stepshipping (Noah/Mokuba)

Intellectshipping (Dartz/Rebecca)

Iceshipping (Seto/Valon)

Wishshipping (Yugi/Joey)

Jeershipping (Valon/Joey)

Midriffshipping (Marik/Alister)

Siblingshipping (Mokuba/Serenity)

Dragonshipping (Joey/Kisara)

Sweetshipping (Raphael/Serenity)

And, Aussie_Love_Shipping (Laura/Valon) (Laura = ME!)

That's about it! I hope you enjoy these!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the mentioned characters except for Laura. I actually AM Laura!


	2. Chapter 2

Visionshipping One-shot

DOOM Fangirl: "Here's the first one-shot! Ishizu/Mai. Takes place after KC Grand Prix, but before GX. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own amy of these characters!

Ishizu was overjoyed when she started dating the ever-sexy Mai.

Not just because the blonde woman was sexy (although that was definitely a huge plus!), but also because Ishizu greatly admired the woman's attitude.

Mai was never afraid to tell people what she thought of them-she was always very clear with no room for misunderstandings.

Marik had a different word for what his sister called her lover's "attitude"-he called it "tactlessness".

Marik and Mai had never really gotten along very well, though it was more a matter of HER feelings than it was of HIS-although Mai KNEW it hadn't been Marik's fault that she had been locked in the Shadow realm by his yami, but she couldn't help but feel some resentment toward the boy.

"You should make him move out," Mai suggested to Ishizu, one day.

"Make Marik move out?" the Egyptian woman asked, not believing her female lover had said such a thing.

"Yeah! I mean, he's a big boy-don't you think it's time he's learned to live on his own?"

"I…I understand where you're coming from, Mai," Ishizu began slowly, "but he doesn't have anywhere to go, right now. Odion is dead, so…we have no family other than each other, now…"

Mai sighed, then softened and said, "I'm sorry. I know how much he means to you, but…You KNOW that I still have nightmares about Battle City, and all the things it led to…"

Ishizu knew the blonde was talking about her joining DOOM, even though they'd only talked about it on two or three occasions.

"I KNOW that, Mai," the raven-haired woman said softly, reaching out to stroke her girlfriend's cheek tenderly.

Mai leaned her face against her lover's slender dark hand.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, too," Ishizu replied, as she kissed the beautiful woman she felt she was blessed to be with.

DOOM Fangirl: "That's the end of this one. I made this to show the motherly nature of Ishizu. Anyways, leave a review, okay? Bye!"


	3. Chapter 3

Sacrificeshipping One-shot

DOOM Fangirl: "Here's the second one-shot! It's a Valon/Alister. It takes place during DOOM. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.

Valon awoke in a cold sweat.

_It was that dream again,_ he thought.

Even though, he was in a beach house in California, he kept seeing the church/orphanage burning down in Australia.

He shivered.

_Can't be alone right now,_ he thought as he got out of bed.

He threw on a shirt, since Dartz had (on several occasions) yelled at the boy for walking around the house in nothing but his boxers.

The first person he went to see was Mai.

He knocked on her door, and she opened it, looking tired.

_I ain't the only one who's got nightmares,_ he remembered.

"Uhg!" the blonde woman groaned. "What do you WANT? It's LATE!"

"Mai, I don't wanna be alone, right now-can I sleep with you, tonight?"

Her eyes widened before she slapped Valon so hard that his head snapped back, and then slammed the door in his face.

"I didn't mean it like THAT!" the boy protested.

"Fuck off, ya pervert!" was the only reply he got.

Valon's shoulder's sagged, and he went off to the bedroom of his second-favorite person-Raphael.

He knocked on the man's door, but got no answer, so he knocked louder, and called out, "Raf!"

"Raphael is out on a mission, Valon," said a voice to the young Aussie's left.

Said Aussie turned to see Dartz standing nearby.

"Oh…Um…Okay."

"You seem troubled, my child," the Atlantean said. "Is something on your mind?"

"Um…Nightmare."

"I see…Is there anything that you need?'

"Well, do ya think I could…" Valon trailed off.

"Hmm?" his master asked.

"Um…Know what? Never mind." And, with that, the brunet hurried away.

_I can't BELIEVE I almost asked DARTZ!_ he thought.

The boy came to a stop in front of Alister's room and sighed.

_He's gonna KILL me, but…There ain't no one else left to ask! _And he knocked on the door.

A loud sigh was heard from inside, and, in a few seconds, the door opened to reveal a bare-ass naked Alister.

Valon's face reddened as he looked away quickly.

"What?" the man asked irritably.

Quite personally, the redhead didn't care if his body was seen-it was fucking sexy!

"Um…Uh…I-it's just that…Um…Is this, um…a bad time?" the boy stammered, still not looking at his comrade.

"Whenever YOU are involved, Aussie, it's ALWAYS a bad time, but you don't normally care."

There was a moment of silence before Alister sighed loudly, and put on a pair of boxers.

"There," he said. "Can you look at me and be your annoying self, now?"

Valon relaxed visibly and turned to face the redhead.

"I, um…I had a right bad nightmare, Mate, and I…I really don't think I can be alone, tonight! And Mai hit me, and Raf ain't here, and I can't ask Dartz, so, I just…" The boy trailed off, looking as though he might cry.

Alister's gray eyes softened. He, himself, was occasionally plagued by nightmares, so he knew what the brunet was going through.

"Come in," he said, standing aside.

Valon's baby blue eyes widened in surprise-he hadn't expected the redhead to just let him in that easily.

"Well, are you coming in, or not!" the man snapped.

The brunet quickly went into the room.

"Well," Alister began, after a moment of silence, "I'm, uh…I'm not going to sleep, just yet, but, um…you can lie down, if you want."

"R-right," Valon said. "I, um…I think I will."

About 20 minutes after he'd lied down, the Aussie began to whimper in his sleep.

The redhead looked over at the bed from where he sat at his desk, and noticed that the poor boy looked like he was in pain.

He went over to the brunet and placed a hand on his shoulder, preparing to shake him awake, but as soon as they came into contact, Valon calmed and a small smile came his lips.

Alister looked at the boy's angelic-looking face and smiled himself, before kissing him lightly on the forehead.

"I love you, you Idiot," he whispered.

DOOM Fangirl: "That's the end of this one. I made this to show Valon's vulnerable side and, at the end, Alister's soft, caring side. Leave a review. Bye!"


	4. Chapter 4

Warshipping One-shot

DOOM Fangirl: "Here's a very sad one-shot. This one is Seto/Alister. It's set after DOOM, but before the whole time-travel crap. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.

Alister was lying on the bedroom floor.

He was all bruised up, but that was nothing new-Seto hit him all the time.

But the redhead was okay with that. His lover always told him it was to remind him of his place whenever he got out of line.

What WAS different was that there was a deep gash in his stomach that was oozing blood.

"You crossed the line, Bitch," Seto told the man with cold indifference as he threw the bloody knife next to his bleeding lover.

_I…don't understand,_ the redhead thought as his vision blurred. _I don't even remember what I did or said, this time…But…I guess I should've figured that I can never do anything right. It's stupid to ever think that I can…_

Alister opened his mouth. There was something he wanted to tell the brunet who had so severely abused him, but he couldn't speak.

The pain was fading and everything was going black.

The redhead couldn't hear anymore, either, but he could feel that Seto was walking away.

"I love you, Seto," he murmured with his final breath.

And, then, he was gone, after the final thought, _I hope the blood doesn't stain anything…_

DOOM Fangirl: *wipes her eyes* "Yeah, that was a sad one. And, yeah, that's the end of this one. I wanted to show Seto as a totally emotionless asshole, for some reason, but, more than that, I wanted to show that, when Alister devotes himself to someone, he'll care about that person, no matter what. That's how I see his character. Anyway, leave a review, okay?"


	5. Chapter 5

Stepshipping One-shot

DOOM Fangirl: "Here's the next chapter! This one is Noah/Mokuba. Takes place after Battle City, but before the DOOM arc. Enjoy!"

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters used.

Mokuba had been online, researching something for a homework assignment, when, suddenly, a screen came up that said "Noah".

The raven-haired boy smiled and clicked on the word, causing a green-haired boy to pop up.

"Hey, Noah," he greeted his step-brother.

"Hello, Mokie," was the reply.

Mokuba smiled at the usage of his old nickname.

The two had been secretly talking to each other-Mokuba from his computer, Noah from cyberspace-regularly for a few months, now.

Seto didn't know, and Mokuba had no inclination to tell him-he'd pop a hernia!

"So, how was school today?" Noah asked.

"Eh. You know," the younger boy replied, shrugging casually.

"Yeah."

"Um, Noah, can I talk to you later-I'm WAY behind on my homework-it's due tomorrow!"

"Sure, Mokie. We can talk tomorrow."

"'Kay. Bye, then!" But before the boy could click out of the chat, Noah said, "Mokie?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Bro," Mokuba grinned, before clicking out.

From somewhere in cyberspace, Noah said quietly, "No, Mokie-I LOVE you."

DOOM Fangirl: "That's the end of this one. I wanted to show how I believe Noah cares for Mokuba. Anyway, leave a review! Bye!


	6. Chapter 6

Intellectshipping One-shot

DOOM Fangirl: "Okay, I'm here with the next one! It's a Dartz/Rebecca. Takes place after KC Grand Prix, but WAAAY before GX. Enjoy!"

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.

Dartz was sitting in the Hawkins' den, asleep in front of the television, when he suddenly felt something get in his lap.

He looked down to see his girlfriend, Rebecca sitting there.

"So," she began, "what's on the Idiot Box?"

"I have no idea," he admitted.

She giggled, and slid further back in his lap.

He buried his face in her blonde hair and inhaled the scent of her strawberries-and-cream shampoo.

She leaned her head back and her lips met his and they shared one of their sweet kisses.

But Dartz was sick of this innocent bullshit, so he pressed his lips further against hers, making her gasp, which was fine with him, since it granted him access to the inside of her mouth.

His tongue explored her mouth, every inch, every crevice, and Rebecca began to slide her tongue around his, clumsily as she didn't really know what she was doing, but Dartz liked it, nonetheless.

It was then that he slipped his hand under her skirt, and tugged at her panties.

"WOAH!" the girl exclaimed, pulling away from him. "What do you think you're DOING?"

"My darling, I LOVE you-I WANT you…Do YOU…not want ME?"

"Dartzy, you KNOW I love you, and…I WILL admit I've been thinking about…" She blushed and looked away.

"About what?" he teased.

"Sex," she murmured.

"Well, then, why not just give into these urges we have-live in the moment?" He kissed her neck, and she moaned.

"Well…"

And, THAT is how Rebecca Hawkins got knocked-up at age 14.

DOOM Fangirl: "Okay, then! This one was kinda weird. But don't worry: Dartz was a responsible father, who stayed by his child's-and his woman's-side…Even when Arthur Hawkins tried to murder him with his bare hands. Leave a review! Bye!"


	7. Chapter 7

Iceshipping One-shot

DOOM Fangirl: "Here's another one! It's a Seto/Valon. It doesn't really have a plot-it's pretty much pure lemon, 'cuz I felt like it!"

Seto ran his hand up Valon's naked thigh, ran it up, up, up, until he wrapped it the younger boy's half-formed erection.

The Aussie cried out from the firmness of the CEO's grasp on his cock.

The older boy immediately shut him up with a kiss.

Then he began to jerk the younger boy off, roughly, quickly.

Valon whimpered into his lovers mouth and fisted in the sheets.

The sounds and feeling of these whimpers sent jolts straight to Seto's groin.

He couldn't hold back anymore-he flipped the Australian over.

Said Australian cried out in protest, but didn't REALLY mind-when it came down to it, Valon actually liked being bottom…But he'd never admit such a thing!

Seto pulled his lover's hips up so that he was on his hands and knees. Then, spread the younger boy's legs apart as far as they would go.

He quickly inserted two of his fingers into Valon's entrance to stretch him.

Not that the Aussie wasn't pretty stretched already-it was common knowledge that the boy was a total cock-whore, who had had sex with…pretty much every gay and bisexual man he'd ever come in contact with.

That was before he was fucked by Seto. After having sex with the CEO, Valon had never even THOUGHT of having sex with another man! Same went for Seto.

Seto took his fingers out and Valon felt something much larger penetrate him.

The Aussie cried out, causing the older boy to chuckle.

"Don't act like this is your first time, Valon," he chided.

"Sh-shut up and do me," Valon choked out.

Seto was happy to oblige the boy beneath him; he began to thrust in and out of him, over and over.

Valon arched his back and screamed his lovers name.

Seto panted with the effort of trying not to come, but soon, he did.

His lover came with him.

Seto panted a few more times, before rolling off of Valon.

The young Australian sighed and said, "Thanks for that."

"Anytime," the other boy said, smiling.

DOOM Fangirl: "And, here is where I end this one! I like yaoi and I like lemon, so I LOVE yaoi-lemons! I had a lot of fun writing this one! Leave a review! Bye!"


	8. Chapter 8

Wishshipping One-shot

DOOM Fangirl: "Hey! Here's the next one! It's Yugi/Joey. Takes place after the whole time-travel thing. Enjoy!"

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.

Yugi sat in class, but he wasn't really listening to the teacher. He was trying to get his boyfriend's attention.

Yugi had just randomly walked up to Joey and kissed him, one day-out of the blue!-and said, "Be my boyfriend!"

The blond had blushed and said, "Um…Yug, did you take drugs earlier?"

"No!" the short boy had snapped uncharacteristically. "I like you!"

So, they had started seeing each other.

Now, in the classroom, Yugi threw a note onto Joey's desk.

The blond looked at it and unfolded it.

_Joey, can get out of here?_

Joey grinned, as he recognized his boyfriend's handwriting. He scribbled something down, and threw it back to Yugi.

_Sure, Yug. Just run to the tree house when I've got everyone's attention._

The boy looked at it, then sent another note.

_What are you going to do?_

Another grin, then the next note.

_Don't worry about it._

Joey then calmly got up and walked over to Seto's desk.

"Mr. Wheeler, get back in your seat," the teacher said.

The blond didn't answer and instead, started to kiss the brunet CEO.

Everyone in class either screamed, gasped, or fainted…

…Except for Yugi.

The poor boy just watched, and then ran, ran out of the class, out of the school, and down the street-he didn't know where to, and he didn't care, really.

All he cared about was that Joey-HIS boyfriend, Joey!-had kissed another guy.

Yugi thought that if he ran far enough, he could stop thinking about it; like if he was far enough away.

But he ran for at least thirty minutes-not seeing anything around him through his tears-and he still couldn't get the image out of his head.

Without realizing it, the boy had run all the way home to the Game Shop!

He went inside, and up to his room, ignoring his grandfather asking him why he was home from school early, why he was crying, and if he was hurt.

When Yugi got to his room, he locked the door, threw himself onto the bed, and buried his face in his pillow.

It was about three minutes later when he heard a tap at his window.

He looked up to see Joey crouched on the outside windowsill.

"Hey, Yug!" he greeted cheerfully.

The short boy gave his boyfriend the finger, and put his head back down.

The blond was confused as to why Yugi was angry, so he opened the unlocked window and slipped through.

"Yug, what's wrong?" he asked gently. "And why didn't ya go to the tree house, like I said?"

Yugi looked back at Joey with tears streaming down his face.

"Why'd you kiss Kaiba?" he choked through his tears.

"Is THAT why you're mad?"

"YES! If I kissed him, YOU'D be pretty upset, too, right?"

The blond considered this for a moment.

"Yeah," he conceded. "Yeah, I guess I would be…Yug, I'm sorry. It didn't mean anything-I swear! It was just so you could run off while everyone was distracted, and then I could run once they sent me to detention."

Yugi wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

"That's the ONLY reason, Joey?"

"Well, I kinda wanted to see the look on Rich Boy's face, too," the taller boy admitted.

The small boy smiled and snuggled up against his boyfriend.

"Okay. I just didn't want you to like someone else."

"Nah, Yug-I'm yours!" Joey told Yugi, giving him a quick squeeze.

Yugi giggled. And he knew it was true: the shorter boy had the blond wrapped around his finger…

…But nether of them really had a problem with that.

DOOM Fangirl: "That's the end of this one! I think it was cute! After the last one, I NEEDED to write something cute, and not SEXSEXSEXSEX, you know? So, leave a review, okay? Bye!"


End file.
